Teeth! And the Infamous Amber Necklace

Gus is getting teeth! You may remember me saying, oh, about 100 times in the past 5 months that we thought he was experiencing pre-teething/teething discomfort. Well, the first teeth have finally arrived. Both the bottom middle teeth broke through the gums right at 8 months. With minimal discomfort. Yay! Well, we had one day of feeling poorly that may or may not have been related to teething, but we'll get to that.

Before we left the US the other week, we thought teeth might be on their way. He had stepped up the drooling and hand-chewing again, although he had done this in the past without any teeth breaking through. We arrived back to England on a Wednesday, and Gus fell asleep at about 8.30 with no problems. Jon and I, however, had to stay up and watch The Apprentice. So at 10.30, I was exhausted and ready to crash. And Gus wakes up. And stays up. Till 1 am. But he wasn't too out of sorts or anything; at first he just wanted to play, then he settled down but couldn't quite fall asleep. The combination of jet lag and teething just wasn't working for him.

Thursday came--after a long lie-in for Gus and me. Poor Jon had to get up early to work! Gus was as happy as could be, and we could see the teeth pressing up on those gums. We knew they would be out soon! Thursday was a late night again (Gus fell asleep at about 11pm), but not too much fussing/crying. And by Friday afternoon, the teeth had come through. He wasn't too interested in solid foods for a few days, but that what fine, since he had an unlimited supply of breastmilk available to him. Excellent! This teething thing is a hoot, I don't know what everyone complains about! (OK, maybe I didn't quite think that, but I was pretty thankful we, and especially Gus, had gotten off so lightly with the whole process.)

Then, a week later, and Gus starts having troubles. He fought sleep a bit, but finally fell asleep at about 11pm. I just figured he was still suffering from jet lag. Until he awoke, crying, at about 12.45. Now, Gus rarely wakes up for more than just a quick feed at night (and I am not sure he always actually wakes up for those; then again, co-sleeping means I don't really wake up either), and he almost never cries at night. So this was unusual. And, poor little man, nothing would soothe him. He didn't really want to nurse. He kept pushing me away, so I put him down on the bed, then he grabbed for me. He didn't want Jon, or a cold washcloth to chew on, or anything. This lasted for about 15 minutes until I was able to sing/rock/nurse him back to sleep. Until he woke up again about an hour later. This time, he pretty much cried for a half hour straight (with a couple minutes' break while Pa played peek-a-boo with him). We finally gave him some paracetamol, which helped calm him down enough to sleep for several hours. The whole next day, he was fussy, clingy, just overall feeling poorly. And he slept a lot, although that was surely in part due to the frequent night wakings and early morning. But there was no noticeable change in his teeth, so I am not sure if that was the problem or not. (Has anyone ever heard of the idea of the Wonder Weeks? Basically, the theory is that every baby goes through certain developmental leaps at basically the same time, and this can cause clinginess, fussiness, and general disruption with the routine. There is supposedly one at 37 weeks of age--counting from baby's due date, not birthdate--which corresponds exactly to the day that Gus was extra fussy. I have never heard of anything like this elsewhere, but, based on my sample size of one, they might be on to something!)


So what's up with this necklace?


I bought the amber teething necklace when Gus was about 3 months old, and he has been wearing it pretty much every day since then (he doesn't sleep with it at night). Many believe that amber has healing properties, since it is not a stone, but the resin of trees. Against the warmth of a person's skin, the resin supposedly releases its oils (in particular, succinic acid) into the skin, which then help ease pain and inflammation, in this case, those caused by new teeth.

Now, I don't really know if I believe that this works or not. I bought it because I don't particularly like taking pain relieving medications myself, and I really don't like the idea of giving too many to my baby. I think that they definitely have their place, I just don't like to use them for every little thing. Gus obviously can't tell me whether his fussiness is from pain or something else, but I definitely wouldn't want to give him medication every time he was extra fussy. So I thought that if there was a natural remedy that could ease the teething process even a little bit, that would be good. It's a win-win situation--he doesn't have as much pain, and I don't have to choose between giving him medication more often than I would personally be comfortable with and making him be in pain with no relief.

Some people do worry about the risk of choking/strangulation with wearing a necklace. Personally, I don't think this is a big risk for us. The necklaces are designed to be worn by babies, so there is a know tied in between each bead. When force is applied and they break, only one or two beads would fall off. The beads are so small, that he wouldn't have been able to pick them up when he was younger, and now that he can, they wouldn't really be a choking risk. I did a Google search for incidences of choking due to a teething necklace, and couldn't find accounts of any, so that was encouraging too.

Does the necklace work? Impossible to know. He has only had two episodes of being unwell, neither of which seemed to be prolonged instances of pain, and I don't know whether either was caused by teething or something else. So whether his relatively easy teething so far has been due to the necklace or just his own personal teething process and tolerance for pain, we can't know. But I won't be taking it off him any time soon, just in case!

HP7:2 Woo Hoo!

It's Harry Potter Day! Whoopee!

Well, not for me personally, but for the world. Lucky, lucky world. Jon and I are hoping to see it tomorrow (must buy tickets!), leaving the little one with his grandparents for a few hours.

Let me tell you, I loves me some Harry Potter. I love the story. I love the characters (I had at one time thought about naming my first-born son FredandGeorge. Jon didn't think it went with our last name, so it was vetoed. sadface). I love the whole participating-in-a-worldwide-cultural-event aspect of it. I feel like today is my generation's moon landing. (Apparently, we don't have quite as lofty of goals as those that went before us.)

I have read the books too many times to count (what a strange phrase--I could count high enough, I just didn't keep a tally every time I picked up one of the books). They, along with the Anne of Green Gables series, were my go-to books in college when I felt burnt-out and needed some relaxation. I still cry at least once in each of them. And I still remember reading several of them for the first time. With book six, the book was released a couple of days before we started rehearsals for a play I was doing with some friends, and my mean old director wouldn't let me read it until I had memorised my lines! I wasn't able to start it till Sunday--torture! (Did give me motivation for my memorisation, though).  Seven made up for it though. I was living in Scotland at the time. I walked to the bookstore to pick up my book at midnight, then hurried home and called my sisters back in Illinois. I read the first chapter to them out loud over the phone, 6 hours before they would be able to go and get their own copies :)

So today marks the end of an era. But, let me tell you, I cannot wait to share this book with Gus when he is old enough!


Thanks to Sarah at Fumbling Toward Grace and Maggie at From the Heart for the inspiration to write about my love for the Boy Who Lived!

There and back again

My poor neglected little blog! I can't believe it has been over a month since I last posted.

Our trip to the US has come and gone. It was a great time. Although poor Gussy had a bit of a hard time of it at first. The plane trip was fine (the Moby wrap made the journey super-easy again, and he slept a lot, which is always good!), and jet lag wasn't an issue, but he is not used to having so many people around. In England, when we all get together with Jon's family, there are 10 adults and Gus. In the US, just my immediate family is 8 adults and 4 children. Then add in the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends and their kids; it's a bit of a zoo!  We arrived to my parents' house at about 3pm Illinois time, which was basically bedtime English time. So he was pretty sleepy. I knew my brother, SIL, and their three kids were coming over for dinner, so I decided to pop into the shower quickly before they arrived. And of course, they get there just as I turn the water on. By the time I got out, Gus was crying his little heart out.That's pretty much how the first few days were: (mostly) happy to have other people around if Mama's holding him, but not so much otherwise. But he did get more and more used to all the new people, and by the end, he spent a large portion of a big family reunion with my parents and sisters, and even fell asleep in my sister's arms!

Gus and his favourite toy at Grandma and Grandpa's--
a toy box/house with a roof that opened and closed!

We saw again how blessed we are to have such an easy-going baby. Apart from his initial issues with the crowds, Gus took everything in his stride. He loved exploring my parents' and grandma's houses. He had no problems sleeping in planes, cars, and strange beds. I even got a bit more sleep than I normally do when I am home, as I occasionally went to bed at Gus's bedtime rather than staying up to the wee hours talking (okay, so there weren't a lot of early nights, and half of them were the "early to bed, but stay awake late reading The Hunger Games" sort of nights, but still, an improvement). He was a bit more fussy than normal, but nothing too horrible. And nothing that couldn't be fixed by a cuddle with Mama!

Gus and Ben

So anyway, it was a great trip. It is so nice to spend time with the family. We got to see my parents run their first 5k (go Mom and Dad!). We had some playdates with my best friend and her son. We met up with my cousin who was born on the same day as Gus and compared notes (but got no good pictures of them together, as Gus kept crawling away to play with their dog!), as well as lots of other, bigger cousins. And Gus and his cousins got on really well after his initial warming-up period. (Well, Gus was decidedly not interesting enough for my very active 2-year-old nephew Ben. Ben would try to play with Gus, rattling one of the toys or rolling the ball, but after a few minutes, Ben would decide that Gus's smiles weren't exciting enough and would give him a shove to try and liven things up a bit! Sorry, Ben; maybe Gus will play a bit more next time!). Oh, and the highlight of Jon's summer trip every year: singing America, the Beautiful at church on the Sunday before the Fourth ;)

But now, we are back home, back to everyday life, and--hopefully--back to blogging!

Laid-back or lazy?

As you may have figured out by now, we're a pretty laid-back pair of parents. This parenting style, as it were, is partly based on personality and partly on philosophy. Which is to say, Jon and I are pretty chilled out people to begin with (okay, mostly me for that one, but Jon goes with the flow within his own set ways, if that is possible). But I would be stricter with myself in a heartbeat if I thought that was what Gus needed. I just happen to think that babies do well when their needs are addressed in a child-led, as opposed to parent-led, way.

In our house, this manifests itself in a variety of ways. Gus doesn't have a set napping schedule or bedtime. There is a pretty regular rhythm to each day, and I try to pay close attention to his mood and then nurse him to sleep (or attempt to, anyway!) when he starts to act tired. We have a fairly regular bedtime, but we don't force him to sleep or ignore him while he stays awake after that time. I breastfeed on demand. Solid food meals are baby-led as well, so I don't force him to eat a certain amount. I do try and encourage him to taste the various things I put on his tray, but if he is not in the mood for food, then he will just skip that meal and make it up at the next meal or with milk.

This all works really well for me. I am not the type of person who could  follow a schedule where I have to put baby down for a nap at a certain time every day--I need more flexibility in my life than that. And while some people would hate not knowing that their baby is eating x meals a day and drinking y ounces of milk, it would drive me up the wall to worry about an extra ounce here or a missed meal there.

More importantly, this seems to work really well for Gus, too. He is such an easy-going little guy. People often comment on how happy he is (or, more often, how "well behaved" he is, which I interpret to mean he seems contented). To me, this shows that the way we are doing things fits his personality just as well as it fits ours.

The thing I worry about is taking things too far. I thought about this the other night when it was 9.30 and Gus was still crawling back and forth on the bed, playing with everything he could get his hands on. I felt maybe I should have been doing more to get him to sleep. Was I, as a parent, just letting him down, and thereby nurturing a child who would never listen to any authority, never do anything but what pleased him in that moment? Sure, he's only 7 months old now, but do we need to start instilling better habits? Am I just letting him stay up late because I am too lazy to impose a bedtime?

People talk a lot about how children "need limits" and "crave boundaries". This post at Demand EUPHORIA really made me think about that little axiom. She says:

I'm still the same person as I was as a child. I have the same feelings and thoughts now as I did then. I think kids are just like adults in terms of how they want to be treated. I think people, young and old, want to have ultimate control over their bodies and their lives.

It all comes back to the idea that children are people too, and they deserve to have their feelings and wishes respected. Do I really know better than Gus what he needs at any given moment? And if he does need boundaries and limits, are these things that can be malleable, that we can work out together, as a family, as he gets older, or do they need to be imposed upon him?

I think a big part of the difficulty I have with this is that "common knowledge" says that this is what parents do: impose limits, set boundaries, ensure that the kiddos toe the line. One thing I have found out about myself in the last 7 months, though, is that the decisions I make are not mainstream (you would have thought I'd have figured this out about myself earlier in my life, but apparently not!). But just because we, as parents, are making decisions we feel are best for our family doesn't mean it is always easy to go against the cultural norm.  I am very conscious of how others might see me (I'm a people pleaser, for sure), and I think I have a fear of being labelled permissive--in a bad way.

I *think* Jon and I are doing okay parenting our little babe. But it's such a journey, this parenting thing, and I feel we constantly have to step back, take stock of how things are going, and think about what needs to be tweaked. At the moment, I'm going to say things are mostly good. But I really want to parent intentionally, doing things because they are best for our family, not because I am too lazy to do any differently.

7 Quick Takes (volume 10)

-1-

We have had milestones right and left these past couple of weeks. The first was really more a milestone for me--I left my baby for 10 hours! Not on his own, of course, and with every intention of coming back to him. I went to a friend's hen do the other weekend and left Jon and Gus to have a boys' day together. A good time was had by all, and I think I was the most stressed of the three of us! I always think I should leave Jon and Gus to have an hour or two alone at the weekends, but I find that there isn't all that much I feel like doing by myself--I would rather spend the time with my family.  So it was a good opportunity for them to spend some time together and good for me to have a break. Next time, it doesn't need to be quite so long, though!

-2-

The day after the hen do, I was playing on the floor in the living room with Gus when he noticed an empty bottle under a chair (it was way too much to ask Jon to have Gus all day--for the first time--and keep the house tidy as well, especially when I don't do a very good job of tidying, and I have practice every day!). Anyway, Gus was really excited to see that bottle. Of course, I just wanted to shout, "I'm right here! What do you want a bottle for?"  Poor mama :)

-3-

As for milestones number 2 and 3, Gus started crawling and pulled himself up to stand for the first time on the same day. Where has my little baby gone?!  He had been army-crawling and bum-scootching for maybe 2 weeks already, but this Tuesday, he was up on his hands and knees and there was no stopping him. I, of course, am getting even less done than normal around the house. I feel like I need to watch him all the time. We have tried to baby-proof the main areas where he goes, but he keeps finding things that aren't really suitable for him that I didn't even think of. Constant vigilance!   

-4-

Our trip to visit the American family is getting close now--yay!  I am so excited. We haven't seen everybody since Christmas, and Gus has grown and changed so much since then, I can't wait to show him off ;)  The one thing I am not excited about is the flight. Gus and I will be going out first, with Jon joining us a few days later. Anyone have any suggestions for ways to keep a newly-crawling 7 month old entertained for an 8 hour flight? Please??

-5-

Do you know what I hate? Scented laundry detergent. Ugh. It is so awful. Laundry detergent is the most difficult part about cloth diapering. I use Ecover for my regular clothes, but apparently that is not very good for cloth diapers because it doesn't rinse out properly. Or something. So last time I bought the Tots Bots Potion, specifically designed for washing diapers at lower temperatures. But I didn't really think it was worth the price tag (not least because nowhere on the packaging does it tell you how much to use!), so I thought I would just go for some standard biological detergent. In the UK, they have two types of detergent, bio and non-bio. I do not know what the difference is (something to do with enzymes?), but I normally use non-bio. I read that bio works better on the diapers, so I thought I would try it. But I could not find any unscented bio detergent in the shop. Isn't that weird? They only have non-bio unscented. I bought one that said "with essential oils", hoping that it would mean the scent wasn't too awful. But it is. I just took the clothes out of the wash, and my head still hurts, just from hanging them up. Yuck yuck yuck. I don't think I can use that again. I might try the Rockin Green next time. What do you use for your nappies?

-6-

Gus is asleep in the bed next to me as I write this. He keeps moving. A lot. I don't notice it in the night when I am asleep, but today during his nap, he was practically up on his hands and knees at one point, before lying back down, completely asleep! He's obviously very excited about his newfound crawling abilities!

-7-

All week, I kept thinking of things I might put in my quick takes today. And now I can't remember any more of them. Oh well! Hope you all have a lovely weekend. And happy second birthday tomorrow to my nephew Ben! (That's way better than the card that I haven't yet put in the mail, right?)

Don't forget to head over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes fun!

Yummy in Gus's tummy

...and on his face, and in his hair, and on the floor.

That's right, Gus has joined the ranks of those who eat solid food. And what an adventure it is!

We first gave him solids about three weeks ago (the Saturday before he turned 6 months), and he has taken to it like a pro. We're doing baby-led weaning, and his first meal was banana and avocado. He was a bit unsure about it all, but not so much that he didn't want to keep going back for more!

Gus's first meal

Banana and avocado are quite squishy, and therefore difficult for little hands to pick up sometimes. I found that it is helpful to leave a bit of the peel on the banana as a handle. Works well, until he's eaten everything that is sticking out!  Or just give him something easier to hold, like steak and asparagus!

mmm, steak

He loved his steak. Obviously. I mean, who doesn't? (Okay, I think it's kind of gross now that I am a vegetarian, but Jon is a meat-eater, so Gus will eat meat occasionally as well.) I was surprised that he liked the asparagus so much. I thought it would be kind of bitter for him, but we have had it a couple of times now, and every time he has just gnawed away on it for ages, sucking up all the juices and even sometimes swallowing some.

He does swallow some food, but probably more gets spit out still. It is awesome watching him learn to use his tongue to move the food around in his mouth. He is really quite good at moving the food to the front of his mouth to spit it out, but I don't know if the skill of moving it backward is developing a bit more slowly! It doesn't matter, really, though. He is just learning about different tastes and textures at the moment, and anything he actually swallows is a bonus. I certainly haven't noticed any decrease in the amount of milk he drinks yet (or, more accurately, in the number of times a day he requests nursing).

what is that!?
(mango was too slippery for his fingers,
so he used Pa's hand as a handle)

He makes this great face that seems to say "what in the world is this horrible thing I am sticking in my mouth?!" Yet he always goes back for more!  We think, actually, it is not the taste that he dislikes so much. Instead, he is still trying to get used to the sensation of solid food in his mouth. As I pay more attention, he seems to do it most often when he the food (I think) goes back farther on his tongue. He also does a lot of mild gagging, trying to get the food forward again. He hasn't choked at all, though. Thankfully. (Some say that actual choking is unlikely with baby-led weaning, whereas others suggest that some babies are just more prone to it. Either way, it is not something we have had to worry about so far.)

maybe it gets so messy because the handle is in his mouth?

He also really likes to use a spoon. He can't put food onto the spoon himself yet (unsurprisingly--that's a tough skill to develop!), but I fill it up with yogurt or oatmeal, and he can easily get it off. Although, I think he just likes to chew on the spoon itself sometimes. And using a spoon does cause a huge mess! Mealtimes are a bit messy anyway, but the yogurt gets everywhere--face, hands, arms, tray, floor, hair. Luckily Gus is washable :)  And I've put a plastic tablecloth over the floor to try and save the (brand new!) carpet a bit.

We've been having a lot of fun with feeding so far. And it is really quite stress-free. We give him the food that we are eating, just cut into Gus-sized pieces, then let him eat--or not--as he pleases. He's even gotten to eat things like Mexican food and curry, both of which he really loved! More, please!

6 month update—becoming mama

I realised while I was writing all about what Gus has been up to lately that there is another person in this relationship that has been doing a lot of learning and growing in recent months—me! Sometime in these past 3 months in particular, I’ve really settled into this role of mother. I certainly don’t have it all figured out yet, but I’ve started to feel like I know what I am doing. I am no longer a new, inexperienced mother who feels thrown in at the deep end with no idea what is going on. I am a cool, confident mama who has a bag of tricks and a growing stock of experience to call upon when things are tough. (Okay, I don’t necessarily feel cool or confident when I am trying to figure out why Gus has been screeching and screaming for 20 minutes, but at this moment, while he is lying next to me, peacefully sleeping, I feel very cool and confident.)

When did this all happen?  I read or hear stories about mothers’ difficult early days with their babies, and I know, intellectually, that this happened to me, but it is so far from my life now. Not that it was all hard then—we are blessed with a very easy-going baby—but I remember spending an unusual (for me, but probably not for the average new mom!) amount of time crying and can’t remember why. Gus is only 6 months old; you’d think I would be able to remember back that far. And it also makes me a little sad that I am already forgetting those little details—if I can’t remember now, what hope is there of remembering in the future? I know it’s cliché, but this all goes so fast!  I think I do a passable job of living in the moment, I just wish some of these moments moved at a slightly slower pace.

Another thing I have become aware of recently is that this is who I am. Amy: mother. Many women worry about losing themselves and their identity once they have children. For me, motherhood has gradually subsumed me over the past six months, in a lovely and exciting way. I feel like I can, if I try, trace the path backward to my old self, and it makes sense, but I can no longer imagine who I would be without Gus. The flip side is that I get confused when I think about the future and realise that someday I will no longer be a mother to a baby. I obviously will never stop being a mother, and hopefully we will have more babies in due course, but there will be a day when *this* is not my life. To someone who is just getting used to this new identity, it is strange to think that it will not last forever. It will ease away just as seamlessly as it came, till one day I wake up and realise I have changed yet again, without knowing when or how.

I don’t think I have ever been as reflective about my life as I am now. I don’t know if it is because I am at home all day so I have time (ha!) to think about these things. Or maybe it is beause I have this blog—don’t they say something about how recording an event can alter that event? Or is it merely the nature of parenthood? This life-changing event happens so quickly (I know pregnancy lasts 9 months, but how much can you really prepare for everything that a baby will bring?), you need to take time for your brain to catch up.

So this is me, as a mama. I don’t think I have mentioned yet in this post how much I love it. I guess, for me, that is just a given. I am so blessed to have such a lovely baby and an amazing husband to parent with. I, thankfully, am pretty much back to my laid-back self after worrying about every little thing for weeks and weeks after Gus was born. But one thing that hasn’t changed in these intervening months is how my heart feels like it could burst when I think about how much I love this kid.

St Monica, pray for us, that we may mother our children in a way that brings them wholeness, happiness, and life in our Lord.