Serious and banal thoughts on picture books

First, the serious.

It really annoys me when picture books have unequal gender representation. Is that just my humorless feminist side showing? But seriously, Gus loves books and reads them (asks Jon or me to read them) again and again and again. It is a very significant way in which he learns about the world. And if we want to raise our daughters in a world where anything is open to them, we also have to raise sons who do not think that they are superior to others or entitled to certain things based solely on their male-ness. Let me explain through some examples.

Gus has a book called Tommy & Minnie's Glitter Book Learning Colours. It is a seemingly innocuous little book with a dog (Tommy), a cat (Minnie) and other animal friends in various scenes, each one of which focuses on a different colour. The animals are actually very cute. But some of the writing is appalling. The first page:

Tommy is sailing on a sailboat. Minnie waves goodbye to him.

Firstly, to me, that is kind of boring. But whatever, lots of books that Gus loves seem boring to me. More importantly, why does Tommy get to do active, adventurous things while Minnie only stands on the side, watching? As a one-off, it doesn't really matter, but it is a pattern you see across lots of books and other media. Boys do things, girls observe.

Another pair of books Gus loves at the moment is about Fergus the Patch-eyed pup. The pictures are very sweet in these, and they have dogs and ducks (as well as pigs, chickens, and a cat in Fergus and Marigold!), which Gus obviously adores. The thing that annoys me about Fergus in the Park, though, is that, as Fergus strolls through the park, almost all of the people in the pictures are men or boys. These books have quite a 1950s feel to them, so at first I thought that was the reason for this and was going to give it a pass. But then I realised that they were copyrighted in 1997 and 98. So much for that thought. Pictures like these give subtle cues to the reader that the world is only populated by men, or that they are the ones that matter. Again, one book isn't going to make a difference, but if every book that Gus reads has 80% men or boys, then a pattern starts to emerge for him.

Also, in these books, Farmer Bob is Fergus's owner. Farmer Bob has a wife, who is seen on two pages in Fergus and Marigold, and even speaks at the end of the book. What is her name?, you ask. Good question, wish I could answer it for you. She is just called Farmer Bob's wife. Why?! Can't the poor lady have her own name? I may be getting overly upset about this one, as I have long-standing issues with being referred to only in relation to my husband. I love being a wife, and it is a major part of my identity, but please, do not for any reason call me Mrs Jon Lastname. I am not sure why I hate this so much, but I can already feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it!

I am not sure exactly the best way to counteract these kinds of messages about gender that are only going to become more prevalent as he grows older and consumes a wider variety of media. The blog Pigtail Pals Redefine Girly talks a lot about media literacy and helping our children critically assess the images that are presented to them in the media. This is something I will definitely try to work in more as Gus grows. At the moment, I mostly just change offending phrases as I read the book--which of course will only work until he can read them himself. (I also do this with songs and nursery rhymes as well. My two little dickie birds sitting on a wall are named Polly and Paul instead of Peter and Paul.) Choosing different books is definitely an option, but these books were gifts so we couldn't make decisions pre-purchase, and there are other good things about them, so I hate to banish them completely. Most of Gus's books are about (mostly gender-less) animals, but a couple of books that I think have good gender representations are 10 Little Rubber Ducks by Eric Carle (male and female factory workers, a female truck driver and male ship captain), The Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton (main characters are a tiny hippopotamus and her daddy), and Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardt (both Paul and Judy do a variety of activities).  I like that these books just show people (or animals!) doing lots of things, and it doesn't matter if they are male or female--it is very organic and unobtrusive.

And now the banal

In the book I mentioned above about Tommy and Minnie, the last page is about how "Tommy and Minnie are enjoying nature". Do you notice anything strange about the picture?

Tommy and Minnie are enjoying nature.
So much so that they are going to cut it down and take it home with them.

 Why yes, they are chopping down a tree!  And they seem to have already felled a couple of others. Why oh why is this a picture in a children's book, especially under the caption "enjoying nature"?! I don't think that bird is going to be enjoying nature too much once you chop down the tree that its nest--and unhatched eggs!--are in! But, at least we can say that both Tommy AND Minnie are participating in this activity :)

What are your favourite books to read with toddlers or preschoolers? Do they have any books that just annoy you?

Going on with Gus

Lots of exciting things happening in the Gus front this week!

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Gus has made his first sign--milk. At first, he only did it while he was actually nursing, but within a couple of days figured out how to use it to ask for milk as well. Oh, the cuteness! He walks up to me with a huge grin on his face and does the sign, my heart just melts. He has taken to making the sign with both hands, now, as well. He is just so proud of himself for being able to ask for something and getting a response. Maybe too proud, in fact, as I seem to be nursing him all. the. time. at the moment. That could be related to other things, though, including but not limited to teething, a cold that he has had for a couple of weeks, and the fact that it was unseasonably hot last week, so he needed more fluids. Also, I think that he uses the sign at times when he doesn't necessarily want milk, but is just thinking about milk or thinking of things that he associates with nursing, such as being cozy and secure and well-loved. Um, did I tell you that he is the cutest thing ever? There are times when it is obvious that he is asking for milk, but I think I am getting better at interpreting his use of the sign at other times. (I thought signing was supposed to remove the need for all this guessing and interpreting!?)

He can also do a second sign. Well, does it count if the second sign looks exactly like the first? We often walk to the neighborhood lake and look at the ducks, geese, and swans that live there, and he can now sign duck when he sees them. But you do have to use the context, since it looks exactly like milk. (Milk is signed by opening and closing your fist, as if milking a cow; for duck, you also open and close your hand, but keep the fingers straight like a duck's beak.) Gus has a little book of animals, where there are pictures of about a dozen different animals on each page. Last night we were all sitting in bed reading, and he had the book open to the page with all the different birds, and Jon and I saw him signing duck.  "Look, Jon, he's reading!"

Gus does love his books. His particular favorites are books with animals in them (as he loves animals), but any book will do. He flips through the books with amazing speed, then will stop on a page that looks interesting and point and chatter about the pictures for a while. He often seems to know which page he is looking for--tonight we were looking at the above-mentioned animal book, and he flipped back and forth through the whole book (going 2 or 3 pages at a time) about three times before he finally landed on the page with the birds, at which point he stopped and showed me the pictures. The only problem with this activity is that he doesn't actually like us to read the stories to him--we obviously don't turn the pages nearly fast enough for our little speed reader!

It is funny how different skills progress. A few months ago, he loved knocking things down, then he learned to build and had no time for destruction. Then he went through a stage where he spent a lot of time taking things off shelves and out of boxes, but in the last week or two, he has started focusing more on the opposite--putting items in other things. (Well, he still loves to take things out, especially when I try to put his toys and books back on their shelves!) Today he helped me load the washing machine with the dirty clothes--although he didn't quite understand that we couldn't take them back out right away! I love watching him wandering around the yard, picking up dirt and rocks from one location and depositing them very methodically in another.

He also learned about squishing things this week. It was sweet watching him sit under the crabapple tree, using all his might to try and squish the rotten apples in his hands. It was not so cute when he found a slug as I was pulling weeds and tried to squeeze it!

I just can't get over how much he understands. I'm sure it has been gradual, but all of a sudden it hit me this week that I can ask him to do something (can I have that? should we do this? do you want to go there?), and he does it a large percentage of the time. Obviously, he still chooses not to do things sometimes, but he understands what I am asking.

At the same time, it is amazing what he doesn't understand. We are truly in the throes of separation anxiety. At the weekend, Jon, Gus, and I would all be chilling out in the living room, and then either Jon or I would go off to the kitchen or bathroom, and Gus would start fussing and following. And I don't think it was a "ooh, I want to go there, too" kind of cry, but more a "what?! don't leave me!" cry. Today at a friend's house (who we see every week, so I think he feels pretty comfortable with the other mamas and babies that were there), he started screaming and crying, with tears running down his face, before I had even left the room. I always have the dilemma of whether I should try and sneak out of a room without him noticing or tell him that I am just nipping to the other room and risk him getting upset as I go. Usually, I think that it would be more disconcerting for him to just turn around and not know where I am, so I tell him unless I will literally only be gone for less than 30 seconds or so. Or I take him with me. That happens a lot.

Goodness, this has turned into a real novel, and I feel like I am still forgetting something really awesome that he is doing!  I guess there is always next week :)

Animals on parade

Gus loves animals. All types--big or small, furry or feathery.  We're really lucky that we have a little lake near the house (about a 10 minute walk away), and on our way to the grocery store and playground, that is home to many a water fowl, including a pair of swans and their babies. One of his favorite activities is to go down to the lake and watch the ducks. Although he does seem to think that it is a good idea to walk into the water to try and get closer to them. Yeah, I have to hold on pretty tightly there. (Oh, did I mention that Gus is walking? A lot? And has been for a month now? Sorry blogworld, I am neglectful. I am hoping to [record and] post a decent video of his bipedal talents any day now. She says for the 25th day in a row.) And I swear that he can say duck. Sure, da is the "word" he says most often, but when he says it while looking at the ducks, I do like to think that it is intentional.

Gus petting Jon's childhood dog, Flopsy. Who just died last week.
We'll miss you, Flopsy!

We also have many cats that roam the neighborhood. Which I generally don't think of as a positive thing about our house. But Gus certainly rates it highly. The other day, there was a cat in our back yard, and Gus and I sat together for about half an hour, just watching it sit, and clean itself, and chase the ants. It was very sweet. Gus, I mean. Not so much the cat. I mean, the cat was pretty regular. I am not really a cat person.

Gussy looking at the geese when we went to the farm last month.
It's really difficult to get a picture of a baby
while wearing him in a sling on your front.

So last weekend, Jon, Gus and I were in Bristol for a wedding on Friday and had all day Saturday to have fun. Knowing his love of animals, we decided to take Gussy to the zoo. Oh. my. goodness. did he love it!  It was as if each animal was more exciting than the last. He actually had a bit of a cold (which of course he came down with the night before we left for a long weekend, but it didn't seem to hold him back too much) and was kind of sleepy by the time we arrived, but he would not let himself fall asleep when there were amazing animals to be seen. We saw flamingos, lions, several types of monkeys, penguins, and seals, and walked through the butterfly house. Probably some other things too, but those were the ones that I remember him liking the most. It is just so lovely to see his little face light up with pure delight as he looks at the various animals. Jon and I kept saying to each other, "I am so glad we brought him here. Look how much he likes it!" I had thought that just a morning would be more than enough time for such a little one to spend in the zoo, but when we had to go to meet some friends for lunch, I felt so guilty making him leave a place where he was clearly having so much fun!  And he did fall asleep eventually--as soon as we walked away from the animals to look for a place to change a very wet diaper!  Guess we'll postpone that nappy change for a little bit :)

Knowing how much he loves animals, I am really very tempted to get Gus a pet for his birthday in a couple of months. Nothing big--I am not up for the responsibility of a dog and, like I said before, am not really a cat person. But maybe something little, like a guinea pig or hamster or something. Does anyone know about these animals, if they are good for toddlers and easy for moms to take care of? Or is it a silly idea for me to bring a pet into the house? Do I really want one more thing that I need to clean?!

6-day-old piglets at the farm.
Maybe we should get on of these--they are so cute!
Nevermind they grow up to weigh about 400 pounds!