Gus says...

There are so many things going on right now that I just do not want to forget. You know those moments where you just wished you had a video camera to record the thing that just happened? (And since I lost my new camera only 4 months after I got it, I don't have any video camera. sad face). I guess written records will have to do.

Gus loves to make funny faces and do jokes at the moment. For about a week, at every diaper change he would say "Change your diaper on the chair? Change your diaper on the ceiling? Change your diaper on the moon?!" He would just laugh and laugh after every one. (Okay, we would laugh, too.) This week he likes to be Gus Pie, and Jon, myself, or one of the stuffed animals gobbles him up. He'll ask the toy "Would you like...an orange? No! Would you like...an apple? No! Would you like...a lemon? No! Would you like...Gus Pie?"

Gus making his (blurry) funny face

About a week or so ago we started playing dragons with him. We look for dragons around the house, or Jon or I puts a green blanket over our head to pretend to be a dragon. He has picked up from us to say "Listen out!" (covering his ear with his hand as he listens), to which we respond with a roaaar! (He became interested in dragons through the book When the Dragons Came, which is an excellent book. Gus can pretty much recite the whole thing, as well!)

Gus's favourite toys at the moment are buses and cars and trains.We like to make little towns out of blocks that the buses can drive to and drop the passengers off at. But apparently (I did not know this) buses can also have good conversations with each other. And trains are as good a friend as any doll. Case in point: we are getting our kitchen remodeled, so I was clearing out the cupboards. I had put one of the boxes full of stuff in front of the sink, and it was the perfect height for Gus to step on to and reach the sink and the few items in it. So he sits the digger next to him, and for the next 20 or 30 minutes, I hear "Would you like a drink digger? Good drink, digger. Digger finished the drink. Gus like a drink, too." as he concocts "drinks" and "snacks" for himself and the digger!

Gus, his digger, and his towers

A few words he has been testing out recently:

• actually. "Shop is that way, actually." (I turned right out of the park to go round the lake to the shop. Apparently Gus wanted to turn left and go the slightly longer way.)
• some. "Some cats like to be stroked." (after I told him we couldn't pet a strange cat, since I didn't know if it liked to be stroked)
• might. "Pa might mend it when he gets home." (I don't think he totally understands the meaning of might, and often uses it to mean will.)
• Practising negatives. "Somebody is not in the park" when the park is empty. Or, after we get on the bus and he notices the driver's hat "Some drivers have no hat on." Definitely getting his meaning across, even if the constructions are slightly different than I would do!

What's new with Gus

Gosh, I do not know why it has been so long since I last wrote anything here. I do know, however, that every day I spend not writing makes it harder to write an update on what Gus is up to these days. So, I am going to take 10 minutes and write what I can by way of update. Let's go!

Gus is such a chatterbox. He really does talk nonstop. He is always surprising me by picking up new little phrases and things. Yesterday, we were watching youtube videos of The Wheels on the Bus (he loves this so much), and I asked him which vid was his favourite. He just answered, "Don't know." I thought to myself, when did you start sounding like such a grown-up person?!  I also love it when you ask him something and he responds no, like that was the most ridiculous question in the world, and obviously the answer is no. He is just so funny.

Cars and trucks and buses have overtaken animals as his favourite thing, I think. Buses in particular seem to be well-loved, and he gets very excited by the idea of Jon riding the "big green bus" home from work. Similarly, his favourite book at the moment is Richard Scary's Cars and Trucks and Things that Go. Which he identifies by name. This book can keep him busy for ages. There are so many pictures in the book, and each one tells a little story. And he narrates every. single. one.  Luckily, I don't always have to read it with him. There is one page with a massive pile-up, and the other day I was in the next room from Gus while he was reading, and I just heard him say "Oh no! Two cars fall down!"

His pronunciation of various sounds and words is getting much better, which makes me a bit sad. The word shoes actually sounds the way it is meant to be pronounced, rather than being a string of sounds that could not be replicated by anyone else. And I heard him use the word chicken instead of cluck-cluck a couple of times this week. Oh, they do grow up fast!  And I don't take nearly enough videos of him talking!

He's also started doing the actions that go along with songs, such as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Wind the Bobbin Up. He is quite a shy little guy, though, and you can especially see that when we go to somewhere like Rhyme Time at the library. At home, he shouts instructions about which song or verse to sing next and does actions and is generally really engaged when we sing songs together. When we are in a group, though, he just sits quietly on my lap, hardly even smiling, just watching all the other kids and their parents. He does seem to enjoy it, but I guess he likes to observe more than jump into the middle of things. Not too much unlike his Mama, actually.

Wow, that actually took 20 minutes, and I feel like I've only touched the surface!  I'll leave you with some pictures from this month.

Another favourite pasttime. I am definitely not complaining!

A vintage bus show. Gus was in Heaven!! (even if it doesn't look it by his expression)

Wading in the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain in London

Looking out the front door at the truck and cars

Painting

Multitasking--vacuuming the back yard while on the phone

Lifting weights with Pa

Driving a fire truck. Why can I never get a picture of him smiling?!

Serious and banal thoughts on picture books

First, the serious.

It really annoys me when picture books have unequal gender representation. Is that just my humorless feminist side showing? But seriously, Gus loves books and reads them (asks Jon or me to read them) again and again and again. It is a very significant way in which he learns about the world. And if we want to raise our daughters in a world where anything is open to them, we also have to raise sons who do not think that they are superior to others or entitled to certain things based solely on their male-ness. Let me explain through some examples.

Gus has a book called Tommy & Minnie's Glitter Book Learning Colours. It is a seemingly innocuous little book with a dog (Tommy), a cat (Minnie) and other animal friends in various scenes, each one of which focuses on a different colour. The animals are actually very cute. But some of the writing is appalling. The first page:

Tommy is sailing on a sailboat. Minnie waves goodbye to him.

Firstly, to me, that is kind of boring. But whatever, lots of books that Gus loves seem boring to me. More importantly, why does Tommy get to do active, adventurous things while Minnie only stands on the side, watching? As a one-off, it doesn't really matter, but it is a pattern you see across lots of books and other media. Boys do things, girls observe.

Another pair of books Gus loves at the moment is about Fergus the Patch-eyed pup. The pictures are very sweet in these, and they have dogs and ducks (as well as pigs, chickens, and a cat in Fergus and Marigold!), which Gus obviously adores. The thing that annoys me about Fergus in the Park, though, is that, as Fergus strolls through the park, almost all of the people in the pictures are men or boys. These books have quite a 1950s feel to them, so at first I thought that was the reason for this and was going to give it a pass. But then I realised that they were copyrighted in 1997 and 98. So much for that thought. Pictures like these give subtle cues to the reader that the world is only populated by men, or that they are the ones that matter. Again, one book isn't going to make a difference, but if every book that Gus reads has 80% men or boys, then a pattern starts to emerge for him.

Also, in these books, Farmer Bob is Fergus's owner. Farmer Bob has a wife, who is seen on two pages in Fergus and Marigold, and even speaks at the end of the book. What is her name?, you ask. Good question, wish I could answer it for you. She is just called Farmer Bob's wife. Why?! Can't the poor lady have her own name? I may be getting overly upset about this one, as I have long-standing issues with being referred to only in relation to my husband. I love being a wife, and it is a major part of my identity, but please, do not for any reason call me Mrs Jon Lastname. I am not sure why I hate this so much, but I can already feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it!

I am not sure exactly the best way to counteract these kinds of messages about gender that are only going to become more prevalent as he grows older and consumes a wider variety of media. The blog Pigtail Pals Redefine Girly talks a lot about media literacy and helping our children critically assess the images that are presented to them in the media. This is something I will definitely try to work in more as Gus grows. At the moment, I mostly just change offending phrases as I read the book--which of course will only work until he can read them himself. (I also do this with songs and nursery rhymes as well. My two little dickie birds sitting on a wall are named Polly and Paul instead of Peter and Paul.) Choosing different books is definitely an option, but these books were gifts so we couldn't make decisions pre-purchase, and there are other good things about them, so I hate to banish them completely. Most of Gus's books are about (mostly gender-less) animals, but a couple of books that I think have good gender representations are 10 Little Rubber Ducks by Eric Carle (male and female factory workers, a female truck driver and male ship captain), The Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton (main characters are a tiny hippopotamus and her daddy), and Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardt (both Paul and Judy do a variety of activities).  I like that these books just show people (or animals!) doing lots of things, and it doesn't matter if they are male or female--it is very organic and unobtrusive.

And now the banal

In the book I mentioned above about Tommy and Minnie, the last page is about how "Tommy and Minnie are enjoying nature". Do you notice anything strange about the picture?

Tommy and Minnie are enjoying nature.
So much so that they are going to cut it down and take it home with them.

 Why yes, they are chopping down a tree!  And they seem to have already felled a couple of others. Why oh why is this a picture in a children's book, especially under the caption "enjoying nature"?! I don't think that bird is going to be enjoying nature too much once you chop down the tree that its nest--and unhatched eggs!--are in! But, at least we can say that both Tommy AND Minnie are participating in this activity :)

What are your favourite books to read with toddlers or preschoolers? Do they have any books that just annoy you?

random thoughts

I had a dream last night that I was doing some calculus. This, to me, was not a nightmare. It was more like a wish. I often wish that I had a reason to do mathematical calculations: calculus, algebra, geometry, whatever you've got. 

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I'm reading a very amusing book called The Etymologicon. It is about where various words come from, making links between (seemingly) totally unconnected words. Definitely recommended for any logophiles out there!

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Gus can finally say Pa!  Up to now he has had a hard time with the "p" sound; it usually came out like an "m". But yesterday, he said it load and clear. Jon was very happy :)

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It snowed here on Saturday, but it is almost gone now. We went out for a walk today, and of course I forget to put Gus's waterproof trousers on him. The number of times I have put them on him when it is almost completely dry, and today, with all the puddles, snow, and mud, I forget. Oh well. He didn't seem to mind the soaked cuffs too much.

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I loved this post by Teacher Tom about coloring within the lines. An excerpt:

The paintings on the wall, the test scores, the grades only measure how well a child manages to stay within the lines, which is, after all, at best, a limited grounds upon which to form judgments. It tells us nothing, for instance, about what happens along the way.

I would love to raise children that understand society well enough to know when they need to colour in the lines, but are comfortable enough with themselves and their passions to scribble all over the page if that is how they feel at any given moment. Easy peasy, right?

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 It's so fascinating watching Gus imitate the adults around him. Right now he is sweeping my kitchen floor as I type this. What a sweetie!

Feeding baby doll a breadstick.
He made sure she had plenty of water as well

Books I'm Reading: No Impact Man

I've actually been reading books lately, wonder of wonders--I've read almost three whole books in the last three weeks! Usually I am a novel type of girl all the way, but I have gotten more and more into non-fiction the last few months. One that I have just read is called No Impact Man: Saving the planet one family at a time by Colin Beavan. I was a little wary of it when I picked it off the library shelf; there seem to be a lot of books lately that are basically "do something for a year, blog about it, turn that into a book, get lots of publicity", and there is a little cynical part of me that questions people's motives about those sort of things. But that is not very charitable of me, and I figured at the very least it would have a few pointers for greener living, so I thought why not?

And I am really glad I read it. The basic gist of it is that Beavan decides to spend one year, with his wife and toddler, making as little impact on the environment as possible. He starts off knowing next to nothing about how to do this and therefore learns as he goes, gradually making changes to his lifestyle. This seems a pretty sensible way to do things--you can't cut out everything at once, and it seems a bit silly to research things (i.e. learn how simple changes could make big differences) but not actually implement them until some arbitrary date in the future. But it does lead to some humorous / annoying occurrences. For example, the very first stage is to make no trash, which he chose with the mistaken assumption that he would be easing his way into things. Then he goes and has an existential crisis on day one over blowing his nose, and I am just thinking "Handkerchief. Handkerchief. HANDKERCHIEF!!" I mean, come on, that one's obvious, right? Apparently not to Beavan.

Overall, it was a good book, though. He did well to give background about why it is important to make less trash / use less water and electricity / travel more sustainably and how it works in a real-life family, in both good and bad ways. My favourite part was the continual focus on people and how we choose to live our lives. I sometimes get turned off by sections of the environmental brigade because they seem to want to save the planet for the planet's sake, not in order to improve the lives of the people living on the planet. I'm sorry, but I don't think the Earth would be better off if humans didn't exist. Living the best life possible seems to be at the centre of this book, and leaving the world in such a state that our grandchildren can do the same. That doesn't mean having the most stuff, but finding out what parts of modern life are adding to our lives and what are taking away from them, on both an individual and societal level.

It is all about intentional living, which I love. I'm not all about doing things just because that is the way they have always been done. I want to choose the path that is best for myself and my family, that brings us the most joy and peace in our lives. Of course, having the time, knowledge and resources to make these types of decisions about our lives is a luxury that not everyone has. The ideas behind this are touched on some in the book in the discussion of individual action versus political and corporate action. It shouldn't be "versus", but rather "in conjunction with", as both are important. For instance, I can do my part to help keep our waterways clean by purchasing certain cleaning products, but really, carcinogens and endocrine disruptors shouldn't be in our personal care products in the first place!

I wouldn't want to do what Beavan did for the book. But it has made me think more about how I can lessen my impact and, more surprisingly, examine what it is that I really want out of life.

I am *hoping* to do another post this week detailing some of the green things that I have been inspired to implement because of this book, so watch this space!

Going on with Gus

Lots of exciting things happening in the Gus front this week!

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Gus has made his first sign--milk. At first, he only did it while he was actually nursing, but within a couple of days figured out how to use it to ask for milk as well. Oh, the cuteness! He walks up to me with a huge grin on his face and does the sign, my heart just melts. He has taken to making the sign with both hands, now, as well. He is just so proud of himself for being able to ask for something and getting a response. Maybe too proud, in fact, as I seem to be nursing him all. the. time. at the moment. That could be related to other things, though, including but not limited to teething, a cold that he has had for a couple of weeks, and the fact that it was unseasonably hot last week, so he needed more fluids. Also, I think that he uses the sign at times when he doesn't necessarily want milk, but is just thinking about milk or thinking of things that he associates with nursing, such as being cozy and secure and well-loved. Um, did I tell you that he is the cutest thing ever? There are times when it is obvious that he is asking for milk, but I think I am getting better at interpreting his use of the sign at other times. (I thought signing was supposed to remove the need for all this guessing and interpreting!?)

He can also do a second sign. Well, does it count if the second sign looks exactly like the first? We often walk to the neighborhood lake and look at the ducks, geese, and swans that live there, and he can now sign duck when he sees them. But you do have to use the context, since it looks exactly like milk. (Milk is signed by opening and closing your fist, as if milking a cow; for duck, you also open and close your hand, but keep the fingers straight like a duck's beak.) Gus has a little book of animals, where there are pictures of about a dozen different animals on each page. Last night we were all sitting in bed reading, and he had the book open to the page with all the different birds, and Jon and I saw him signing duck.  "Look, Jon, he's reading!"

Gus does love his books. His particular favorites are books with animals in them (as he loves animals), but any book will do. He flips through the books with amazing speed, then will stop on a page that looks interesting and point and chatter about the pictures for a while. He often seems to know which page he is looking for--tonight we were looking at the above-mentioned animal book, and he flipped back and forth through the whole book (going 2 or 3 pages at a time) about three times before he finally landed on the page with the birds, at which point he stopped and showed me the pictures. The only problem with this activity is that he doesn't actually like us to read the stories to him--we obviously don't turn the pages nearly fast enough for our little speed reader!

It is funny how different skills progress. A few months ago, he loved knocking things down, then he learned to build and had no time for destruction. Then he went through a stage where he spent a lot of time taking things off shelves and out of boxes, but in the last week or two, he has started focusing more on the opposite--putting items in other things. (Well, he still loves to take things out, especially when I try to put his toys and books back on their shelves!) Today he helped me load the washing machine with the dirty clothes--although he didn't quite understand that we couldn't take them back out right away! I love watching him wandering around the yard, picking up dirt and rocks from one location and depositing them very methodically in another.

He also learned about squishing things this week. It was sweet watching him sit under the crabapple tree, using all his might to try and squish the rotten apples in his hands. It was not so cute when he found a slug as I was pulling weeds and tried to squeeze it!

I just can't get over how much he understands. I'm sure it has been gradual, but all of a sudden it hit me this week that I can ask him to do something (can I have that? should we do this? do you want to go there?), and he does it a large percentage of the time. Obviously, he still chooses not to do things sometimes, but he understands what I am asking.

At the same time, it is amazing what he doesn't understand. We are truly in the throes of separation anxiety. At the weekend, Jon, Gus, and I would all be chilling out in the living room, and then either Jon or I would go off to the kitchen or bathroom, and Gus would start fussing and following. And I don't think it was a "ooh, I want to go there, too" kind of cry, but more a "what?! don't leave me!" cry. Today at a friend's house (who we see every week, so I think he feels pretty comfortable with the other mamas and babies that were there), he started screaming and crying, with tears running down his face, before I had even left the room. I always have the dilemma of whether I should try and sneak out of a room without him noticing or tell him that I am just nipping to the other room and risk him getting upset as I go. Usually, I think that it would be more disconcerting for him to just turn around and not know where I am, so I tell him unless I will literally only be gone for less than 30 seconds or so. Or I take him with me. That happens a lot.

Goodness, this has turned into a real novel, and I feel like I am still forgetting something really awesome that he is doing!  I guess there is always next week :)

HP7:2 Woo Hoo!

It's Harry Potter Day! Whoopee!

Well, not for me personally, but for the world. Lucky, lucky world. Jon and I are hoping to see it tomorrow (must buy tickets!), leaving the little one with his grandparents for a few hours.

Let me tell you, I loves me some Harry Potter. I love the story. I love the characters (I had at one time thought about naming my first-born son FredandGeorge. Jon didn't think it went with our last name, so it was vetoed. sadface). I love the whole participating-in-a-worldwide-cultural-event aspect of it. I feel like today is my generation's moon landing. (Apparently, we don't have quite as lofty of goals as those that went before us.)

I have read the books too many times to count (what a strange phrase--I could count high enough, I just didn't keep a tally every time I picked up one of the books). They, along with the Anne of Green Gables series, were my go-to books in college when I felt burnt-out and needed some relaxation. I still cry at least once in each of them. And I still remember reading several of them for the first time. With book six, the book was released a couple of days before we started rehearsals for a play I was doing with some friends, and my mean old director wouldn't let me read it until I had memorised my lines! I wasn't able to start it till Sunday--torture! (Did give me motivation for my memorisation, though).  Seven made up for it though. I was living in Scotland at the time. I walked to the bookstore to pick up my book at midnight, then hurried home and called my sisters back in Illinois. I read the first chapter to them out loud over the phone, 6 hours before they would be able to go and get their own copies :)

So today marks the end of an era. But, let me tell you, I cannot wait to share this book with Gus when he is old enough!


Thanks to Sarah at Fumbling Toward Grace and Maggie at From the Heart for the inspiration to write about my love for the Boy Who Lived!