I have been feeling a bit sad these past couple of days—I feel like Gus is just growing up too quickly! And he is still just a baby. Imagine what I am going to be like as he passes even more milestones!
This has been a really good month. I think that we are really settling into a routine and figuring stuff out, more or less. We have had our hiccoughs, such as last week’s growth spurt that threw me for a bit of a loop. And I still worry way too much—is he sleeping too much; is he sleeping enough; Jon, do you think he has a temperature; ad nauseum. Do you think that ever goes away, or do the specific worries just change?
He has grown out of almost all of his 0-3 month clothes. It is funny, because I don’t realise how much he has grown, then I look back at photos from his first week, and I can’t believe how much he has changed! My friend knitted Gus this great hat (thanks, Lilah!), and I put it to the side when he was first born, thinking it was impossibly big. I came across it yesterday, and he has almost outgrown it—doh! We’ll have to squeeze a lot of wear into these next couple of weeks J
Gus continues to roll onto his side from his back (he really started that just as he turned 2 months old, I think), mainly to get a better angle to suck his hands. Which he is doing constantly at the moment. For a couple of weeks now, he has been chewing his hands all the time, gnawing on our fingers (he’s got a strong bite!) and drooling a lot. We tried to explain it away, but now we can’t really come up with any other explanation—we thinking he is teething. Or at least pre-teething. He generally doesn’t seem too bothered about it. Here’s hoping it continues that way!
One of his favourite things to do is stand. It is so funny, because he has loved to stand up, with us holding him up under the arms or holding onto his hands, since he was about two weeks old. Other moms are often really impressed, but I didn’t realise it was out of the ordinary! It means that he has developed really strong muscles in his neck, back and legs. Plus, he looks so cute while doing it! Apparently Jon never crawled as a baby and went right to walking. Now, I don’t expect Gus to start walking anytime soon, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he skips over crawling like his pa did, seeing how much he likes to be upright at the moment!
Just this week, he has developed / is in the process of developing, a new skill: he is starting to grab at things. This is very exciting! It started with my hands, where he would touch them and play with them and pull them to his mouth (I think I helped them get to his mouth, to be honest). Jon has been trying to get Gus to hit the rattles in his play gym, which he occasionally does, but we weren’t sure whether it was intentional or accidental. But in the past two days, he has definitely been grabbing toys and pulling them towards his mouth. He isn’t very proficient at it yet, and he doesn’t always even try to do it, but it is pretty neat to watch.
He also seems to be getting very independent, or at least as independent as a person who can’t move under their own steam or talk can be! He loves sucking his thumb. Which I feel I should be happy about, but sometimes it just breaks my heart a little bit, especially when he chooses to suck his thumb instead of nurse. I believe that nursing should be for more than just nutrition, so I feed on demand, whether it is for hunger or comfort or to help him sleep. The first time he slept for 6 hours at night (which he has only done a couple of times), with his thumb going into his mouth as needed to help him stay / fall back to sleep, I felt so dejected: he doesn’t need me anymore! And the other night, for the first time ever, he fell asleep on his own, lying next to Jon and I, but without any help (i.e. nursing, rocking, etc) from us, just sucking away on that thumb of his. Yay?
He is just so little. Obviously, he needs Jon and me for just about everything still, but sometimes it feels like he is already growing away from us. Granted, it is absolutely adorable when he lies in his baby gym, talking to the butterflies and birds that hang down from it. Part of me could just watch for hours, and part of me wants to run over there and scoop him up, hug him close and never let him go!
I feel like I am being melodramatic with all of this. He is only three months old. He is really not independent, and the little things that he is doing are good and necessary to help him grow into a mature and healthy person. I can’t hold him back and keep him from growing up. But he is already passing through stages, growing out of things. I did not expect this to happen so soon and am just not ready for it. Luckily, in most ways he is still my little tiny baby. Maybe not a quite a newborn still, but my son, who needs me. Maybe I need to work doubly hard to cherish all these amazing little moments!
Some posts from fellow bloggers that I really identify with at the moment:
On growing up, from Code Name: Mama
On thumb sucking, from It's all about the hat